Disclaimer: This post has a lot of new paragraphs because I ended up having a lot of rhetorical conversations with myself… sorry.
Welcome to a super-special, extra-exciting, edition of Play It Like Beatdown. “Why is it super-special and extra-exciting?” I hear you ask. Well, because this is the first ever “Play It Like Beatdown Competition”!
Yep, that’s right. Here at PILB (… is it just me, or does that sound like an insult?… you massive pilb) I’ve found myself with a huge amount of models which I don’t really use, and I thought you folks out there in the real world might like to benefit from some of these goodies.
Erm, guess I should come up with a competition then shouldn’t I?… bear with me….
*Literally seconds of vague thought*
Right, sorted. As you well know, one of the aims of PILB is to inspire folks to try out Malifaux, and particularly (at the moment) those lovely Arcanists, and even more particularly (at the moment), that lovely chap, Marcus*. Well that’s all well and good, but how do I know that I’m not just writing pages and pages of nonsense for no real reason? Is there anyone out there? If there is, how do I know that you lot aren’t just stealing my free content and using it for evil, trying to beat Marcus!? That would just make my blood boil.
So, the competition is thus:
Tell me why/how Play It Like Beatdown has inspired you to start playing good ol’ Marcus**.
Guess I should probably have a prize for this competition as that seems to be “the done thing” for competitions these days.
*A moment of thought later*
And the prize is *drumroll*…. MY OLD METAL MARCUS MODEL! Yey!
Owning Marcus will give you something to aspire to as you journey through Malifaux with your….
…. What? That’s not a very good prize? Because it looks like he’s been painted by a 5 year old who’s had too much sugar? And you need some stuff to use with Marcus?… Fine….erm….
The new prize is *another drumroll*…. MY OLD METAL MARCUS MODEL AND ONE OF MY OLD METAL RSR MODELS! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
….What? The RSR actually takes away from the value of the prize, because he’s that badly painted?
Ok, what if I add in Myranda too?
That takes away from the value even more!!!? Right, last chance, I’ll give away (old metal) Marcus, Myranda, RSR, Cerberus AND the mighty Jackalope!
That’s a full 30ss crew of all kinds of goodness, which has incredible winning pedigree… or at least some winning pedigree, which will never be defeat by those evil….
….WHAT!!!!!!????? THAT’S STILL NOT A VERY GOOD PRIZE!!?????
Fine. Whatever. I’ll add in a proxy Cojo, who’s a little bit small, but otherwise very gorilla-y. Now, for the tiny task of telling me why I’m great….er…. “why PILB has inspired you to play Marcus”, you could win the full new Marcus box…. Except not the new Marcus box, because it’s all old metals and a proxy, but still, that’s 40ss of incredible power and…..
I’ll add in an unpainted Silurid….? And a night terror……..?
Oh, come on. I need to have something left in my collection!
FINE! I’ll put in an old blessed of December, and the second edition cards for as much of this as I can muster.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW! YOU %&!#$@&ing PILB!
We’ve all had some fun, now to clarify, the competition is:
“Tell me why/how Play It Like Beatdown has inspired you to start playing good ol’ Marcus”
You might want to add in your latest filthy Marcus manouver if you know any, but that won’t score you more sssk points for the competition, but might make it to a blog post sometime.
The prize is (all old metal versions):
Marcus, Myranda, Jackalope, RSR, Cerberus, Silurid, Night terror, Blessed of December, and a proxy Cojo (from DUST tactics I think), PLUS stat/upgrade cards for all of that except the Night terror and the Blessed of December (I don’t think that includes generic Arcanist upgrades either…. Not quite sure though).
Just to clarify, that’s like…. 60ss ish, and something in the region of $70 (£40 I think) of stuff. YOU WANT THAT PRIZE! Photos will be going up later on today or tomorrow. It’s mostly badly painted, but you can always give it the Marshall treatment (strip the paint off it and start again). Most importantly though, that crew is very flexible, and an awesome start for any budding Marcus player… which you will be if you win it.
Please send your entries as Direct messages on the Wyrd Forums to sssk (that being me). Entries can be as long as you like, but will be subject to the TLDR filter (Too Long Didn’t Read), so not massive essays please… unless they’re really good (I’ll be the judge of that. If I stop reading half way through, then it was not good enough for the length of it). The competition will finish in a month’s time (that being somewhere mid February, I’ll leave the specific date flexible as I may forget that I set the competition by then). The winner will be chosen by me, based on criteria which I will make up at the time, but generally summed up as “goodness”. One suspects that comedy value, authenticity, and the M factor (Marcus factor) may be components of “goodness”.
Please give your proper name or twitter name, so that you can be referenced when the time comes to pick a winner, so that I know who I’m talking about. I’ll send the models anywhere in the world, but obviously the box is fairly heavy, so if you live a gazillion miles from the UK, a small donation towards shipping costs wouldn’t be turned down. The competition will be totally unbiased (as I said, I don’t mind sending them around the world), and the winning entry (and snippets of others which I like) will be posted in a blog post announcing the winner sometime next month (so don’t whinge about plagiarism, you’ll be referenced properly blah blah blah, and you have been warned).
So get to it Marcus fans!
*ok, this might not actually be one of the aims of PILB, I’m not really sure, but as I can’t really justify why PILB exists, let’s just say that this is why, and not ask any more questions.
** Did anyone notice that this could be re-phrased as “why am I a great blog writer”? Nope? Good good…